Sidew13 wrote:I guess Dogs do rule, AFTER they rip your disfigured body to pieces. NOW cats are loving and so adorible. Not mean and vicious like a wolf/dog
Whoa!!!! I've seen a few cats do some damage.. Not ALL dogs are vicious and evil!!!! Dogs are just bigger than cats.. Well MOST of them. No one needs to choose one or the other.. They'll all Gods creatures and should be loved as such.
Sidew13 wrote:I guess Dogs do rule, AFTER they rip your disfigured body to pieces. NOW cats are loving and so adorible. Not mean and vicious like a wolf/dog
Whoa!!!! I've seen a few cats do some damage.. Not ALL dogs are vicious and evil!!!! Dogs are just bigger than cats.. Well MOST of them. No one needs to choose one or the other.. They'll all Gods creatures and should be loved as such.
About cats:
Law of Refrigerator Observation:
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
Law of Electric Blanket Attraction:
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed and find the most comfortable spot.
Law of Random Comfort Seeking:
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room. (See above.)
Law of Bag/Box Occupancy:
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nano-second.
Law of Cat Embarrassment:
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment multiplied by the amount of human laughter. Your amusement only enhances their air of indifference.
Law of Milk Consumption:
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
Law of Furniture Replacement:
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture. Also, even though you may have invested money in a scratching post, and even gone to the trouble of placing this scratching post next to the piece of furniture you wish to protect, you cat will ignore the scratching post and instead scratch the furniture, if for no other reason than you'd rather he use the scratching post.
Law of Cat Landing:
A cat will always land in the softest place possible, which is, most often, my belly as I'm stretched out and sound asleep on the sofa. (Or S of A as Rachel calls them!)
Law of Fluid Displacement:
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed, plus the size of the hairball she is about to yak-up on the coffee table.
Law of Cat Disinterest:
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.
Law of Pill Rejection:
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
Law of Cat Composition:
A cat is composed of "Matter" plus "Anti-Matter" plus "It Doesn't Matter".
Sub-law of Cat Composition:
It only matters if it causes you inconvenience.
Law of Cat Inertia:
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force-such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
Sub-law of Cat Motion:
A cat will always choose to go where you have committed to place your foot, yet not until mid-step. Of course, any upsetting or sudden changing of the cat's chosen course because of your falling foot will result in a meow of admonition that, if correctly translated, will question the quantitative and qualitative volume of gray matter, or lack thereof, residing between your ears.
Law of Cat Magnetism:
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
Law of Cat Thermodynamics:
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat. All heat flows to the cat.
Law of Cat Stretching:
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.
Law of Cat Elongation:
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any countertop, that has anything remotely interesting on it.
Law of Cat Acceleration:
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
Law of Dinner Table Attendance:
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. That you didn't set an extra place is your fault.
Law of Rug Configuration:
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state, for very long.
Law of Obedience Resistance:
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.
First Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
Second Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by lots of napping.
Law of Selective Listening:
Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened from the opposite end of the house, she can't hear a simple command from you three feet away.
Law of Cat Invisibility:
Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.
Law of Space-Time Continuum:
Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.
Sub-law of Space-Time Continuum:
It's your responsibility to get out of the way.
Law of Concentration of Mass:
A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies.
Law of Cat Probability (Cat's Uncertainty Principle):
It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where she "might" be.
Law of Cat Obedience:
As yet undiscovered.
Here are a few more:
I am a god, treat me as such.
Anything I see is mine.
The dog is my pet.
Anyone who sets foot in my house is fair game.
I reserve the right to scratch anyone who pets me that I deem unworthy.
Yes, you leg does qualify as a scratching post.
No, I don't do laps.
I also don't chase, fetch, catch yarn, play, come when you call, act interested, show affection unless it serves my purposes, pay attention, or care that you had a bad day.
All doors-including closet doors, must remain open at all times.
All toilet paper must be unrolled.
All plants within my reach will be considered vegetables.
Refuse all new food when first offered.
Sniff it.
Taste it.
Try to bury it.
Walk away.
Eat only if you have to, and show continued indifference despite how good the food may actually taste.
A newspaper is a good place to clean yourself. This is especially true if someone is reading it.
The best place to cough up a hairball is where it can be easily found by your person. Recommended places: The middle of your person's bed, the floor in front of a doorway, the clothes hamper, or inside your person's shoe.
Never lose your dignity. If you do experience a loss of dignity it is important to quickly cover it up. Casually sit down and lick one of your front paws, Wait a few minutes and nonchalantly walk away.
Never, ever come when called. If you are one of those cats who feel they must answer their person's call; at least wait until they come looking for you.
When they run you out of town make it look like you are leading the parade.
I've seen a few cats do some damage.. 
Not ALL dogs are vicious and evil!!!! 
Dogs are just bigger than cats.. Well MOST of them. 
No one needs to choose one or the other.. They'll all Gods creatures and should be loved as such.
`How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.